Voices in my head

Another morning, another pre-dawn run. As I ran through my neighborhood alone, I picked up the scent of fresh cut grass wet from overnight sprinklers. The sound of a lone bird chirping the pending rise of the sun just a hour or two away.

Then I heard the footfalls of someone running behind me.

I am the only one out here, which means that I am the runners target. I am not fast enough today to be the rabbit but I really don't want to be passed on this lonely stretch of road. So I step it up. If this person is going to pass me, they are going to have to earn it. I calculate that living where I do, that my pace should keep me ahead but I am laboring, easily a minute faster per mile than normal. I can't let up. My head is high and my chin tucked. Feet land under me and I have a high kick. If I get passed I will look like a proud runner not some hugging, puffing heel striker.

I see the oncoming lights from two cyclists and I grunt a 'Hi' when we come abreast, getting one back in return. Like waiting for the lightening after thunder I begin to count in my head, waiting to here something from the two cyclists or runner behind me. I can then calculate how far ahead I am. I hear nothing.

What an arrogant bastard this runner is. Or is too out of breath to say anything.

A quarter mile ahead is my turnaround. There is 25% chance this runner behind me is going the same way I am. I pray he goes another direction because I am tired. I can't turn around for fear of seeing just how close this person is, losing a precious moment of ground. I can hear their breathing and occasional discharge of spittle and its enough. I reach my turnaround and now as I double back I hold my head high and pray the person behind me doesn't follow for I will surely be passed.

No one is there.

Could it be that it was all in my head? It must have been. I look at my watch and the time is good. I always try to negative split my morning runs but not sure I can today. I don't need a shadow to spur me on and I give it my best. But I wasted so much energy on the way out.

I negative split anyway.