"Have you read this..."

I have a rather...odd relationship with my doctor, "Ann". I saw her today for a post-hospital check up and blood test. Here are some random comments from our meeting.

Ann: "Good Lord, Comm. Rhabdo? You know this can kill you right?"
Comm: "Yes Ann."

A: "You're too young for this. I have patients twice your age with less indicators. And you did this to yourself didn't you. How many times now?"
C: "Ironman.And its about 8 times we think since 1993."

A: "Oh for crying out loud Comm. Bring me these after a traumatic accident or massive heart attack not because you did it to yourself in an Ironman. Didn't you feel your body going over the deep end?"
C: "Yes Ann. I couldn't quit if I tried. I had to just keep moving forward."
A: "Do I need to refer you to a doctor to have your head examined?"
C: "No Ann."

A: "You looked at these ER reports right?"
C: "Yes."
A: "Did it read like your obituary? It sure does to me."

A: "So when do you go back to work?"
C: (Long pause) "I went back to work the day after I got out."
A: "WHAT ARE YOU? HIGH!!! Comm....Comm, what kind of work are you doing in the office."
C: "Answering emails, pushing reports. No lifting, no weights, no exercise."
A: "Absolutely no working out...
C: "Absolutely no working out, promise, nothing."

A: "Wait...you had liver failure and acute renal failure? This is just amazing. You are so stubborn. I've never met any patient who purposefully put them self into this condition through exercise and you continue to do it to yourself."
C: "I know. Ann...when can I workout again?"
A: "Um never. I am not touching this one Comm. You need to work with your specialist. Just reviewing this file is horrifying to me. I can only imagine what your thinking."
C: "I'm thinking I'd like to workout."
A: "I'm thinking I'm calling your wife."

On the plus side the blood draw went really well.