I'm torn

One of the more vivid memories of the dreamlike agony I put myself through on the bike at Ironman Arizona, now six months ago, is the feeling that all my ribs were broken. I know it must have been hours that I mulled in my mind just how I was kicked in the swim hard enough to break my ribs when I could not recall anyone really touching me at all. In the end it turned out all the muscles in my ribcage had cramped as had my heart and lungs which explained why I could not draw a breath without sharp pain.

In times since the race I have often felt the same cramp in my ribcage, particularly my right rib cage and struck it up to cramping from dehydration. See, all the times I really noticed the pain in my chest, it was after doing something outside that required exertion or after a workout and I always felt I was taking it too hard. I simply struck it up to a continued state of dehydration and lived with the either the dull constant ache or every few day a sharp pain.

Talking to my doctor at iNew Med on Friday we discussed this issue in the context of where I am in my current treatment, I shouldn't be dehydrated. He recommended I see my training partner, Dr. Jeff, and have him give me a physical exam. Turns out I have a torn ribcage. I probably did it at Ironman in April and just lived with the pain.

Do I call myself an idiot at this point? Do I call it an honest misunderstanding of the pain I am dealing with? I don't know. But it all goes back to the issue of me recognizing just what I am doing to my body.