Reminders

My life seems a constant reminder of things to not do. I have affirmations and prayers that I use to create a vision for my life the way I want it to be, but the rest of the day seems to be a liteny of thoughts telling myself, "too fast, be patient, your not cleared yet" and so forth.

I am heading out right how and going to push my HR a little bit on a short 30 minute run and perhaps a bit on a mountain bike later in the day. Nothing extreme, like say, oh 165 bmp. But nevertheless.

When I have thoughts like this I think, "Just push it a little. Don't get emotional about it and start charging up hills, its a treat to run in the woods at sunrise, not a punishment."

I had no clue that one year after not finishing Arizona that I would not finish again. I certainly had no clue what was going on with my body to that extreme, what I had been doing to it. But it showed me that, its always still there inside of me. It can lie mostly dormant for a year or years and then when I need it the least, a race, my system shuts down and I need a gallon of IV fluid.

But I apprecaite the object lesson. The whole year between those races I trained without a clue to the damage inside me. Blaming it on a virus and not realizing that I was burning my kidneys up from the inside, not only with my training but with my nutrition.

So with every workout that leads to my recovery I remind myself that I have to stay in control of every workout. I have to be adult, or mature, or wise about the choices I make when I see a short climb or pancake flat with with some prize at the end. And with that, the trees await.