In the beginning...

How many times have you thought to yourself, "If I only knew then what I know now"?

Faced with the prospects of NEVER being physically competitive again, not participating in any meaningful way with the training that continues with my friends, I went to hell and back to find options that countered modern medicine. I found out 'hell' is a actually a world famous clinic in Seattle run by three super smart doctors.

In the near future I will flesh out my thoughts regarding the results of this trip. The most important statement, the only one that matters today, is that I have a future in endurance sports that does not limit me to the spectator side of the course.

I get the rare opportunity to do this all over again. Start from scratch physically but certainly not mentally or emotionally. I have finished an Ironman and finished three other Ironman macrocycles. I shouldn't do another Ironman. Not even the best in the world advise me having that goal. In fact the next nine months to one year is nothing but rebuilding my body. A slow and steady reconstruction of my foundation, repairing and replacing the missing biochemical processes that fail my body when I need it most on the race course.

But. Eventually. Hopefully. If all goes well. A half-ironman late next year might be possible. But that is not the begininng.

The beginning is where I am at right now, the preparations made BEFORE even making my first stroke, pedal, step or lift. Remember all those forms that ask if you have received a doctors consent before undertaking physical activity? We are all guilty of marking 'yes' when we know damn well we didn't. I have personal training degrees. I have finished every level of triathlon race a person can do. Yet, this time I put the pencil down at that question and went to the doctors and am following their advice before starting another program. It involves me looking at all the pitfalls I made as a past triathlete and avoiding them this time around, mostly in regard to volume and effort. My quality of life is quite literally on the line with each workout. Right now I have a greater than 20% chance of dying on a workout if I push it to hard. So I don't have the luxury of blindly, half-assedly, following a training plan and finishing a race on guts alone.

I don't mind saying I am in a unique position here. For the vast majority of athletes their mind is weaker than their body and quit much sooner than they should. I am the reverse. I can take my body to extremes that people will never go to because my mind will shut off unimaginable pain when its focused on completing its mission. As my last race proves, I can push my body to Death's doorstep. This quality does not make me faster or stronger or give me a higher percentage of victory over others. The reality is, it is a hyper focus that disrupts rational behavior and crucial neuro-muscular feedback. It is reckless.

All hyperbole aside, I have been given (another) rare opportunity. I will be able to exercise again. I can't control how my body breaks down but I will take control of the areas of my life that will allow me to step over the line and go against the clock once again. I will focus on the the balance and management of effort, the consistency of training, the nutrition, the rest my body needs. The Zen of triathlon.

I have already visualized me crossing a finish line. As Steven Covey says, "Begin with the end mind."