Going Deep
On Wednesday I fly to Seattle for my clinic visit. I have never had a trip like this before. I fly up and go straight there and into three days of testing and consultation and fly straight back when I am done.
I have been told to bring lots of patience, "Yesterday was sunny, today its raining." I guess that's some zen quote meant to roll with the punches and be even keeled about life. As most of you read in my posts and the readers comments back in April and May, I was very uneven and in denial.
Its taken me three months but I am finally in a better place about this. They are telling me already there is no doubt that based on the information I have sentthey are seeing real damage to my kidneys. To what level is part of what this trip is about.
I like that these doctors are real about my prospects but optimistic. They want my life to have balance and know that fitness is important to me. They hope the results of all this allows me to have fitness in my life, if that the direction it takes. They want me to keep my definition of myself open, again some zen type meaning how life is in constant change. My prospects to a full recovery are zero but the opportunity to return to some regimen of swimming, biking, running and weight lifting is there.
Right now thats all I ask. I don't need to finish any more races, just let me practice with my friends and really, deep down, complete a missing part of my life. Exercise is as much a part of me as the love I have for my wife. Without it, I feel lost and unfocused.
I have been told to bring lots of patience, "Yesterday was sunny, today its raining." I guess that's some zen quote meant to roll with the punches and be even keeled about life. As most of you read in my posts and the readers comments back in April and May, I was very uneven and in denial.
Its taken me three months but I am finally in a better place about this. They are telling me already there is no doubt that based on the information I have sentthey are seeing real damage to my kidneys. To what level is part of what this trip is about.
I like that these doctors are real about my prospects but optimistic. They want my life to have balance and know that fitness is important to me. They hope the results of all this allows me to have fitness in my life, if that the direction it takes. They want me to keep my definition of myself open, again some zen type meaning how life is in constant change. My prospects to a full recovery are zero but the opportunity to return to some regimen of swimming, biking, running and weight lifting is there.
Right now thats all I ask. I don't need to finish any more races, just let me practice with my friends and really, deep down, complete a missing part of my life. Exercise is as much a part of me as the love I have for my wife. Without it, I feel lost and unfocused.
Labels: Rhabdo
posted by Comm's @ 5:46 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
Keep your chin up and know that there are alot of people that care about you and are hoping for the best...
Knowledge is power. In a very real way.
We all have limitations, and sometimes they are very, very hard to adjust to. But you have a supportive family, friends, tri team, and now it seems a team of medical professionals as well. That's as well armed to take on this kind of challenge as it gets, Comm's!!
Comm,
I want you to know that I will be praying for you, the docs, the Mrs., and Mo as you take this trip. You are an incredible person and I know that God will lead you where you need to go and when you get there you will have an amazing peace sorrounding you.
In the mean time as you try and get in there. Hang in there buddy.
Take care,
Melissa
Best wishes for safe travels and effective dealing with whatever is thrown your way.
My fingers are crossed & my thoughts with you. I hope you get some favourable answers.
ok I've been away for a while and you go to hell in a hand basket?
you're in my prayers and remember ..
when you are at the end of your rope...
tie a knot in it and hang on!
I'm really glad you are taking this rhabdo think so seriously and getting the kind of help you need to get so that you can live the life you want to live.
I'm sure they will figure out something that works for you.
Hope things go smoothly in Seattle. Sounds like you've got the best there is in doctors to help you. Safe travels.
Good luck this week!!!
Praying for you!
I completely understand what you mean by fitness being such a huge part of who you are. I hope you get the answers you need out there - it sounds like you are in great hands.
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