Cross this line

When I have a firm goal in mind, like an 'A' race, its much easier to train scared or at least have a sense of completion for all the hard work.

One of the major shifts I have made in my mind is that I am not invincible. I don't have the iron constitution that I thought I had. I am not fast or strong or have much endurance right now. I also don't have a defining moment to coalesce all the hard work I need to generate to bring all that back together. What is a soldier without a mission?

So I guess it becomes a date in time. A point in the future to look forward to that involves some consistency, some effort, some established obstacles to get to and judge my progress. I suppose New Years Day is as good as any.

I don't have any goals yet. I don't know if I can lose weight or improve my endurance or my strength. So I am not writing anything long term down on my mirror in dry erase marker. Another change in my future. I am always someone who when I came up with a goal, I told everyone about it. I made myself accountable to many, especially myself. This time I am just saying, "I will not be like this at that point."

I will be envious and self conscious of that I have no doubt. Its hard to think I once was and now am not. Nor will be some things ever again. I suppose if or when I am able to, I will be more aggressive and set up nominal goals. For now I think consistency without over exertion is my overriding training principle.