You know when I said...

Time never stops. No matter how many times we sleep in or not. Eat right or not. If you have the balls to set a goal, it looms. As you get closer it really looms.

Part of me says, "Your training for your fourth Ironman in three years. You didn't sign up for the first, it was just a test of balancing life, but you did the distances over one full weekend. You finished #2, you got pulled for medical 2/3 through #3, and #4 is really only three weeks of training away. You've had the flu and a concussion and assumed two other peoples work responsibility in the last five months. But your been here before an ironman, others doing it for their first time are freaking out and your not."

The other part of me says. "..your not freaking out. You may get through this race but its going to be ugly. Your training level is mid season half iron level. Pathetic. You looked better before the concussion in November and thats not an excuse that you."

So I am torn. I had a mentor admonish me today for my training level. I deserved it. I have been mentally distracted by a lot lately, more than I have even put down in the blog. Add to that everything above and trying to get on EvoTri and its disappointing I have allowed myself to get here.

So I have to make changes that I wish I didn't have to make. I have three weeks to get back to a respectable Ironman condition. That means I will be eschewing much of my team training for solo work. Most of them can find results on less effort but I can not. I have to focus on my weaknesses and that right now is my bike and my distances.

I am never one for discouraging other triathletes. But for those of you thinking of doing an Ironman and your on the fence, this is the post you don't want to have to write six weeks before the race.