The eyes and words of the young
When Mistress told Mighty Mo that the van was totaled and we were not going to get it back, he asked her if it was okay if he cried. Her heart burst and she held him close for a few moments while he sobbed.
To Mighty Mo, the van was the only car he ever really knew his whole life. He went to school in it. He went to all his doctors appointments and hospital visits in it. It was used to pick up and take home his friends. We went on trips in it and had Great Adbentures (that's how he said it). He fell asleep and woke up in his own captains chair. He sat in that chair the day we brought his sister home and he held her tiny hand in his telling her not to be scared of the bumps and the sunlight.
After a few minutes of quite sobs, he pushed away and yelled at the sky, "I hate that man for taking away our van!" He ran into the other room crying even harder. Now there are a few words I don't allow in the house, most you can guess but Hate is one of those words. Its a powerful word, that unlike the usual swear words cannot be morphed into nouns, subjects, adjectives or adverbs. The very colorful of us can turn them into prepositions. But Hate, is a singularly nasty word. It's intense, it's extreme. It's passionate. It's a strong feeling that corrupts the mind and soul unlike the utterance of mere profanity. I know people who use the F word 50 times a day and are terrifically at peace with life. I know people who do not curse 1 time a day who have been twisted by hate.
So we don't use that word in our house. But that day we let it slide. We understand now that Mighty Mo has suffered a big loss in his life too. Oh, his schedule stayed the same, he didn't get injured in the accident, but to him his quality of life has been altered. It might as well be that we put the dog down. He doesn't have his own seat. He doesn't have his big sliding door that he was so proud of when he could close it all on his own. He doesn't have a big hatch to climb out the back of and look tough when he jumps down.
We try to shield our children from the worst in life until we think they can handle it. We also know that its crap. We can't. Everything that happens to us parents, is reflected in our kids. If we set proper examples we hope that something sinks in. If we set horrible examples we know that it will be imitated 100%. All we can do is show Mighty Mo that life goes on, maybe we'll get another van, maybe something else he will think will be even cooler. But whatever it is, he will learn that using the the word 'hate' in that moment was entirely appropriate for him. Because sometimes the word hate, does need to be used. Because none other fits.
It's not enough to exist. I am going to live.
To Mighty Mo, the van was the only car he ever really knew his whole life. He went to school in it. He went to all his doctors appointments and hospital visits in it. It was used to pick up and take home his friends. We went on trips in it and had Great Adbentures (that's how he said it). He fell asleep and woke up in his own captains chair. He sat in that chair the day we brought his sister home and he held her tiny hand in his telling her not to be scared of the bumps and the sunlight.
After a few minutes of quite sobs, he pushed away and yelled at the sky, "I hate that man for taking away our van!" He ran into the other room crying even harder. Now there are a few words I don't allow in the house, most you can guess but Hate is one of those words. Its a powerful word, that unlike the usual swear words cannot be morphed into nouns, subjects, adjectives or adverbs. The very colorful of us can turn them into prepositions. But Hate, is a singularly nasty word. It's intense, it's extreme. It's passionate. It's a strong feeling that corrupts the mind and soul unlike the utterance of mere profanity. I know people who use the F word 50 times a day and are terrifically at peace with life. I know people who do not curse 1 time a day who have been twisted by hate.
So we don't use that word in our house. But that day we let it slide. We understand now that Mighty Mo has suffered a big loss in his life too. Oh, his schedule stayed the same, he didn't get injured in the accident, but to him his quality of life has been altered. It might as well be that we put the dog down. He doesn't have his own seat. He doesn't have his big sliding door that he was so proud of when he could close it all on his own. He doesn't have a big hatch to climb out the back of and look tough when he jumps down.
We try to shield our children from the worst in life until we think they can handle it. We also know that its crap. We can't. Everything that happens to us parents, is reflected in our kids. If we set proper examples we hope that something sinks in. If we set horrible examples we know that it will be imitated 100%. All we can do is show Mighty Mo that life goes on, maybe we'll get another van, maybe something else he will think will be even cooler. But whatever it is, he will learn that using the the word 'hate' in that moment was entirely appropriate for him. Because sometimes the word hate, does need to be used. Because none other fits.
It's not enough to exist. I am going to live.
posted by Comm's @ 1:42 PM
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