Life versus living, racing style
The improbable has become probable. I am contemplating races for 2010. It is actually quite hard for me to do so. In the last 18 months I have taught myself to recoil in horror at the thought of competition in order to get healthy enough to compete again. How zen is that?
Nevertheless, I have cracked open this process just a bit to see mentally how I will respond. It has not been easy. I vacillate between extremes of my own personal opinion because I realize that all my faults lie on the race clock and not in my training time. I know my current limitations have placed a significant governor on the events I can do but I desire to do them all the same. To race again, oh to race again, could lead me to a very real sense of physical destruction and that must be avoided at all costs. So I think of the exact opposite. I could pull off the feat of becoming the fastest cyclist and runner on my team and never race again. My speed but a legend seen during the week but not in a race. The Ty Webb of triathlon. (Ty Webb, the character played by Chevy Chase in the movie Caddyshack, was the best golfer at Bushwood who never played in tournaments).
If I do race my first attempts must be something that has some fail safes involved ;whether that be a physical governor like a pacer or a time/distance governor based on the course. How that all looks will vary with my idea of my training base, events that are coming up, plus the objective thoughts of Mistress seeing me go through this process. I rely on her quite a bit for feedback as in my mind I do not realize when I am saying things that make no sense.
Currently I am in a place of training consistently but not very hard. Its a good first step. I know where my limit is and staying well within that zone. I am not holding myself to a rigid structure that would normally lead me to peak for a race. I don't want the added pressure, I want to have fun. I want to get to a point in 2010 where any of the the following distances can come from me on any day; swim 2.4 miles, bike 50 miles hard and run 15 miles at will. Not in a race setting and not even as a brick. Just go out and do it.
These are distances that used to be merely foundational base work and now they represent the best I could hope for, the culmination of a good return to the sport. I haven't even come close them yet in training. The roundabout point is that my race goals are still undefined, still not even sure to race or not race. The training however is defined. First it must be safe, second it must be consistent, third it must be fun.
It is not enough to exist, I want to live.
Nevertheless, I have cracked open this process just a bit to see mentally how I will respond. It has not been easy. I vacillate between extremes of my own personal opinion because I realize that all my faults lie on the race clock and not in my training time. I know my current limitations have placed a significant governor on the events I can do but I desire to do them all the same. To race again, oh to race again, could lead me to a very real sense of physical destruction and that must be avoided at all costs. So I think of the exact opposite. I could pull off the feat of becoming the fastest cyclist and runner on my team and never race again. My speed but a legend seen during the week but not in a race. The Ty Webb of triathlon. (Ty Webb, the character played by Chevy Chase in the movie Caddyshack, was the best golfer at Bushwood who never played in tournaments).
If I do race my first attempts must be something that has some fail safes involved ;whether that be a physical governor like a pacer or a time/distance governor based on the course. How that all looks will vary with my idea of my training base, events that are coming up, plus the objective thoughts of Mistress seeing me go through this process. I rely on her quite a bit for feedback as in my mind I do not realize when I am saying things that make no sense.
Currently I am in a place of training consistently but not very hard. Its a good first step. I know where my limit is and staying well within that zone. I am not holding myself to a rigid structure that would normally lead me to peak for a race. I don't want the added pressure, I want to have fun. I want to get to a point in 2010 where any of the the following distances can come from me on any day; swim 2.4 miles, bike 50 miles hard and run 15 miles at will. Not in a race setting and not even as a brick. Just go out and do it.
These are distances that used to be merely foundational base work and now they represent the best I could hope for, the culmination of a good return to the sport. I haven't even come close them yet in training. The roundabout point is that my race goals are still undefined, still not even sure to race or not race. The training however is defined. First it must be safe, second it must be consistent, third it must be fun.
It is not enough to exist, I want to live.
posted by Comm's @ 5:09 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
May 16, 2010
–The Seville Sports Club Mini & Maxi Sprint Triathlon & Duathlon & Youth Tri
Whatever your numbers are now you can look at it like a staircase you are going up and that you must go up step by step. Having an ultimate goal is great but do not get discouraged by having to go back up again.
Your story is inspiring!
Best regards
Hey Comms, I've been following your posts off and on and know you have been doing some hiking. I can't claim to have a solid understanding of your contition but when you say you need to more at an easy pace and have fun plus the fact that I know you have been hiking all leads me to suggest that you really need to give ultramarathon a try. Seriously, the Misty and I are going to be commming out to run the Pemberton Trail 50K. You should be there...to run that is.
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